A public online memorial is meant for broader viewing, while a private online memorial limits access. A link-only memorial sits between them, shared with people who have the link or QR code.
The right choice depends on the person being remembered, the family's comfort level, the photos and stories being shared, and whether the page is connected to a physical QR code.
What public means
A public memorial page is intended to be easy for others to view. Families may choose this when the person had a wide circle of relatives, friends, neighbors, coworkers, classmates, faith community members, or community connections.
Public can make sense when:
- Many people may want to visit the page
- The family wants stories and tributes from a broad group
- The content is appropriate for general viewing
- The family is comfortable with the memorial being shared
Public does not mean every detail belongs on the page. It is still wise to avoid sensitive information, private addresses, medical details, family conflict, financial information, or photos that others may not want shared.
Think of a public memorial as something a friend, former coworker, or distant relative could read with respect. If a detail feels too personal for that audience, keep it off the public page.
What private means
A private memorial page limits who can view the content. Families may choose this when memories are meant for a small circle or when the page includes personal photos, children, sensitive stories, or private tributes.
Private can make sense when:
- The family wants a smaller space for close relatives
- Photos include children or private family moments
- The person's life involved sensitive circumstances
- The family is not ready for broader sharing
- Only selected people should contribute
Private pages can be comforting because they reduce the pressure to write for the public. People may feel freer to share informal stories, inside jokes, or family memories when they know the audience is limited.
The tradeoff is that some people may not be able to view the page unless they are invited. That is not a problem if privacy is the priority. It just means the family should decide how invitations will work.
When each option makes sense
Beyond This Stone memorial pages can be public, link-only, or private. Many families find it helpful to compare all three.
Public is best when the family wants easy sharing and broader access. It can work well for a community figure, a large extended family, or a memorial page meant to receive tributes from many people.
Link-only is best when the family wants the page available to people who have the link or scan the QR code, but does not want broad public discovery. This is often a good fit for memorial QR codes because visitors at the headstone, urn, bench, or home display can open the page without the family making it fully public.
Private is best when the memorial should stay within a smaller group. This may fit families who want more control or who are sharing personal content.
You can start more private and open access later if that feels right. It is usually easier to share more over time than to pull back later.
For a broader comparison, the guide on online memorials vs obituaries explains how a memorial page differs from a public announcement.
Family consent
Privacy decisions should not rest only on the person creating the page, especially when the page includes family photos or stories from more than one household.
Before publishing, ask the closest family members what they are comfortable sharing. This can be simple, but it should be clear enough to prevent surprises.
Helpful questions include:
- Should the page be public, link-only, or private?
- Who can add photos and stories?
- Should tributes be reviewed before they appear?
- Are there photos we should avoid using?
- Are there details that should stay off the page?
- Who will manage the page over time?
Consent matters for children and vulnerable relatives too. If a photo includes a child, ask a parent or guardian before placing it on a public page. If someone is grieving privately, do not assume they want their message shared widely.
Photos and sensitive details
Photos often shape how a memorial page feels. Choose images that show the person's life with dignity and warmth. Everyday photos can be just as meaningful as formal portraits.
Be careful with:
- Photos of children
- Hospital or end-of-life images
- Documents with addresses or phone numbers
- Images showing private homes or license plates
- Stories involving conflict or trauma
- Details about finances, medical history, or legal matters
This is not about hiding the truth of a life. It is about choosing what belongs in a shared memorial setting.
Captions also matter. A simple caption can make a photo more meaningful without exposing too much. "Family lake trip, summer 1998" is often enough.
If you are still collecting memories, read how to preserve family stories after a funeral in a way that leaves room for privacy and consent.
QR code considerations
A QR code changes the privacy question because it connects a physical place to the digital page. Someone visiting a headstone, grave marker, urn niche, bench, or memorial display may be able to scan the code.
That can be beautiful when the page is meant to welcome visitors. It can also feel too open if the page contains private content.
If the QR code will be placed in a public or semi-public location, link-only is often a balanced option. Visitors with the code can access the page, but the family does not have to make the memorial broadly public. Private may be better if access should be limited even at the physical site.
Before placing a code at a cemetery or shared memorial location, check the rules and permissions. The instructions page can help with setup once placement is allowed. If you have questions about access or page settings, contact support.
How Beyond This Stone fits
Beyond This Stone gives families a permanent memorial page with privacy choices and an optional physical connection through a QR code plate. The page can be public, link-only, or private.
The memorial QR code plate is a 2x2 anodized aluminum plate. It costs $99.99 one time, includes free US shipping, and has an optional 10-year warranty. The page can hold photos, videos, stories, and tributes, and families can update it over time.
If you want to understand the scan experience before deciding on privacy, try the example memorial and read what happens when someone scans a memorial QR code.
Frequently asked questions
Is a private online memorial better than a public one?
Not always. Private is better when the family wants tighter control or plans to share sensitive memories. Public is better when the family wants broader access and the content is appropriate for wider viewing.
What does link-only mean for a memorial page?
Link-only means people can view the page if they have the link or scan the QR code. It is a middle option between public and private.
Can we change privacy settings later?
In many cases, families may decide to start more private and share more later. Before changing access, talk with close family members and review the photos and stories on the page.
Should a QR code point to a private memorial?
It can, but visitors may not be able to view the page without access. If you want people at the memorial site to scan and read the page easily, public or link-only may be a better fit.
